“Fexting” may seem like a new phenomenon to you, but we’re pretty sure it’s happened at least once in the last few years. The word is made up of two parts: “fight” and “text.” And if you’re to believe psychologists, that’s a very dangerous thing in this age of digital love.
This is what happens when you “fext”
A small problem over text can turn into a big problem that can’t be solved with simple text or voice talk. “Texting frenzies are when you realize you’re arguing with your partner while texting,” says relationship expert Hayley Quinn. “Maybe you spent a long time crafting a carefully crafted message to express how you feel, then you get a quick GIF from your partner and you’re pissed. Maybe one of you refuses to call, or you don’t have time, so you send angry texts. Maybe you even left the house during an argument and now you want to have the last word.
‘Fexting’ is a sign of a serious problem
Experts agree that stress is a factor behind calling it quits, as well as the need to address the situation immediately. “We live in the age of communication, so if something is bothering you in your relationship or you feel like the person you’re with is distancing themselves from you, you want to do it now rather than wait for the next time. A face-to-face meeting,” Hayley explains.
Fear of past rejection or heartache can fuel this need: “If you’re afraid of your current relationship, you might get into a bad argument when it’s not going well; if your partner responds to your angry words, it’s validation that you’re there for them.
The main culprit behind this relationship breakdown
“Poor communication is often to blame,” says dating expert Anastasia Pochotna, who runs the Flirtini dating app. “It can be hard to know what someone is thinking through the media, and even harmless media can be filled with negative, offensive, or hurtful language.”
How to communicate better?
Good communication is the foundation of a good relationship. It allows you to resolve misunderstandings, express needs, and build deep connections. Here are some things to know:
Good listening: Take the time to listen to your partner without interrupting or rushing to respond.
Clear communication: Don’t assume your partner will understand what you mean. Be clear and concise in your statements, and ask questions if you don’t understand something. Make time to talk: Set aside time for regular conversations, away from distractions like cell phones or television. Create a space where both parties can express themselves freely.
