In the aftermath of Infertility Day, we wonder why we feel guilty when children don’t arrive naturally. A problem that is mostly women’s
The desire for children, when they do not arrive, almost always turns into disappointment. But it is also often accompanied by a sense of shame, combined with the idea of anguish, guilt and failure , especially in the case of women. In Italy, according to data from the Istituto Superiore di Sanità, infertility concerns 15% of couples, who experience this condition that can depend on both the woman and the man, to an equal extent. How can this discomfort be overcome?
Female Infertility and Shame
“Even though it is a very common situation, it is still very difficult to accept a diagnosis of infertility in one’s life . The first reaction is usually shock and disbelief, but then anguish, loneliness, shame, anger, sadness can also take over.
How does a woman who can’t have children feel?
One of the predominant feelings, however, is precisely shame. «Although the factors that determine infertility can concern both sexes, women more than men can live this experience with a feeling of regret for past choices, perhaps for not having started the search for a pregnancy earlier.
The “existential trip” for women
It happens that sometimes the thought of a pregnancy has been put off for years because one was not in the right phase of life for this experience and then, when this decision matures, life plays a sort of “existential trip” and unforeseen, often unthinkable, impediments arise, explains the expert, who adds: « Unfortunately, women are less fortunate than men, they have a reproductive age that ends too soon with respect to the construction of their own life, both as a couple and in terms of study and work, which often require years of dedication and sacrifice.
Female Infertility: The Feeling of Guilt and Shame
For this reason, “the sense of guilt can be part of the experience, but it is due to a temporal gap between fertility and real life that very often no longer depends on women, but on life itself today”, explains the expert, who adds “If the regret of past choices returns insistently then it can be a good idea to seek psychological support that involves both partners”. These are, in any case, issues towards which there is greater awareness today, as demonstrated by the National Day of Information and Training on Fertility (September 22), recently celebrated. The goal is precisely to talk about topics that are still often considered taboo today.
Female infertility as a taboo
“In recent years we have witnessed a revolution in the way we talk about the female body, but despite the progress, there is still a lot to do. In Italy, about 1 in 6 couples has fertility problems, but we struggle to talk about it, sometimes forgetting that medicine and science have made incredible progress.
