exting may sound like a new phenomenon to you, but I’m sure it’s happened to you at least once in the past few years. The word is made up of two parts: “fight” and “texting,” and if you believe leading relationship psychologists, it’s a serious danger in the age of digital romance.
Here’s what happens with “Fexting”
Texting allows small issues to escalate into bigger ones that eventually turn into full-blown arguments that can’t be resolved with a simple text or voice message. “Fexting is that moment when you realize you’re having a full-blown argument with your partner over a text message,” says relationship expert Haley Quinn. “You might spend a long time carefully crafting a message about your feelings, only to be pissed off when your partner immediately responds with a GIF.” Maybe one of you refuses to talk on the phone or simply doesn’t have the time, leading you to resort to angry text messages. Maybe you walk out the door during an argument, hoping to have one last word. ‘Fexing’ signals serious problems Experts agree that fear is one of the main drivers behind ‘fexing’, as is the need to resolve things immediately. ‘We live in an age of instant communication, so if something is bothering you in your relationship or you feel like the person you’re with is distancing themselves, you may feel the urge to take action right away rather than wait for the next face-to-face conversation,’ explains Haley. ‘Fears triggered by old rejections or heartbreaks can intensify this need. “If you’re afraid of your current relationship, you might inadvertently cause an argument. If your partner replies to your angry message, even if it’s unhealthy, it acknowledges that you’re there for him or her.”
This is what kills relationships
“The most common cause is misunderstandings,” says dating expert “Over text messages, it’s hard to know the other person’s true feelings, and harmless messages can come across as rude, sarcastic, or confrontational.”
This will help you communicate better
Good communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship. It helps you clear up misunderstandings, communicate your needs, and maintain a deep connection.
It’s important to be mindful of this:
- Actively listen: Take the time to listen to your partner without interrupting or reacting hastily.
- Communicate clearly: Don’t assume your partner will automatically understand what you mean. Be clear with what you say and ask questions if you don’t understand something.
- Make time to talk: Set aside regular times to talk, away from distractions like cell phones and TV. Create a space where you can both express yourself freely.