Women Guide

Try our practical tips for encouraging good behavior in teens and young adults.

How to encourage good behavior in teenagers and young adults
Good behavior in teens and young adults begins with open communication and warm relationships. This will serve as a foundation for guiding your child’s behavior in a positive direction.

Here are some practical tips for implementing this approach.

A suggestion for good behavior

1. Take time to listen actively
   Active listening involves paying close attention to what your child is saying, including their words and body language. This allows you to pay close attention to your child and understand their thoughts and feelings. This shows your children that you care and are interested in them.

2. Set rules
   Family rules let your child know what behavior is important in your family. If possible, include all family members in discussions about rules. Try to keep the rules positive. For example, instead of saying, “Don’t be mean,” you can say, “We respect each other.”
3. Set the rules: be calm, firm, and consistent
   You can do this by using short, direct consequences that you and your child have agreed on in advance. It helps if you tie the consequences to the rule you broke. For example, “You have to stay home this week because you didn’t come home at the agreed time.” It also gives your child ideas on how to improve their behavior in the future.

4. Encourage reflection
   If you want to use consequences, it is good to encourage your child to think about how he can prevent the problem. For example, you can say something like, “Jem, I’m worried that you’re going to sleep at night without telling me what you’re doing.” Next time I’ll pick you up at 10pm. What can you do differently in the future to avoid the consequences?
5. Try to be a good role model
   Children (even teenagers) will imitate you, so being a role model for your children is a powerful and positive way to guide their behavior. For example, when your children see you following family rules, they are setting a good example.
6. Choose your battles
   Before you argue about your child’s behavior, ask yourself, “Is this really important?” and “Is this really worth arguing about?” Fewer negative responses will result in fewer arguments and less opportunity for frustration.
7. Be considerate of your children
   Your child is an individual, and needs to know that he or she is valued, accepted, and respected for who he or she is. One way to do this is to be considerate of the thoughts and ideas your child develops, even if you don’t agree with them.
8. Let children take charge
   Learning to take responsibility is one of the biggest challenges of adolescence, and a big step toward adulthood. Giving your child some responsibility in certain areas (like letting them choose their own clothes or hairstyle) will help them develop a sense of independence and self-reliance. This will help you avoid arguments over trivial matters.
9. Ability to problem solve
   Whether it’s an argument with your children or an argument with your partner, using good problem-solving techniques will help you stay calm. This will set a good example for your children.
10. Praise your child
    Praise and encouragement are powerful motivators. When you see and appreciate your child’s responsible choices and good behavior, you encourage them to continue doing so. Remember, teenagers are more likely to praise you in front of their peers.