We spend so much time acquiring new skills, don’t we? From learning how to code to mastering that perfect smoky eye, women are always on the move, always hungry for something new to learn. But here’s the kicker—unlearning old skills? That’s just as important. It’s like cleaning out your closet: sometimes, you’ve gotta throw out the things you don’t wear anymore to make space for the fresh, fabulous pieces.
Take Amanda, a marketing manager in her mid-30s. She was a pro at presenting in front of clients and coworkers, but her old way of handling meetings just didn’t fly anymore. She used to be rigid, relying heavily on prepped scripts and slides. But as her team grew and client demands shifted, Amanda found that more flexibility and engagement were the keys to success. The result? She had to unlearn that stiff presentation style and adopt a more fluid, conversational approach. At first, she felt lost. But after a few awkward attempts, Amanda got comfortable with the new way—and her presentations became the highlight of every meeting.
It’s not just Amanda. Every woman, at some point, faces this moment of realization: the old tricks aren’t working anymore. But unlearning is hard! It’s like trying to convince yourself that the sweater you’ve had for years doesn’t actually look cute anymore. But if we want to keep up, we need to shed those outdated habits and ways of thinking.
Old Skills Can Hold You Back
Think about your own career, your life, or even your personal growth. How often have you felt stuck because you were still relying on the same old techniques or mindsets? For many women, especially in their 30s or 40s, the pressure to keep performing as they always have can be stifling. You’ve worked hard to get where you are—so why should you let go of something that’s brought you success?
Here’s the thing: the world shifts. Jobs evolve, relationships change, and your values might even shift as you grow. And if you hang onto the past, if you refuse to unlearn the old ways, you risk being left behind. It’s about knowing when it’s time to let go of those once-helpful but now-obsolete methods.
Take social media, for example. We’ve all seen how quickly things change there. Remember when Facebook was the go-to platform? Now it’s TikTok and Instagram, and those who don’t adjust are falling behind. For women entrepreneurs, staying ahead requires constant adaptation, and sometimes that means unlearning strategies that worked five years ago.
Unlearning Is Part of Growth
Unlearning old skills isn’t about admitting failure; it’s about growth. It’s about recognizing that your past ways of doing things got you to where you are, but they can’t get you where you’re going. This might feel like a loss at first. It’s like cutting off a long, messy braid you’ve been holding onto for years—your hands feel lighter, but you miss the comfort it once gave you.
But the truth is, unlearning allows space for reinvention. Take the example of Maya, a photographer who once swore by film cameras. She loved the tactile feel of a film roll, the art of developing her own prints. But when digital photography came along, she was hesitant. Her clients didn’t want film anymore—they wanted high-quality digital images. Maya had to unlearn her attachment to film and learn how to work with a digital camera. Today, she’s one of the top photographers in her area, and though she sometimes misses the old ways, she knows unlearning was what helped her evolve.
“Unlearning isn’t about letting go of the past. It’s about making room for the future.”
Letting Go of Comfort Zones
Let’s be honest: unlearning is tough because it requires stepping out of that comfy, familiar zone. Women, in particular, tend to lean into comfort—they juggle so many roles, be it career woman, mother, wife, friend, that it’s easy to stick with what works. But comfort doesn’t promote growth. Real change requires discomfort. Whether it’s changing how you show up in the office, or shifting how you communicate with your partner, unlearning opens you up to new possibilities.
Think of the metaphor of a tree that needs to shed its old leaves in order to bloom in the spring. Women are no different. We hold on to old habits, beliefs, and routines, even when they no longer serve us. Unlearning creates the space we need to grow and adapt. It may feel like you’re going backward for a moment, but in reality, you’re paving the way for a new, stronger version of yourself.
Embrace the Process
Unlearning doesn’t have to be dramatic. You don’t have to quit your job and travel the world to unlearn something. Start small. Maybe it’s letting go of perfectionism in your work, or it’s learning how to speak up more in meetings. Maybe it’s stopping the habit of saying “sorry” when you don’t mean it, or unlearning the need to always please others.
The key here is to approach it with a sense of curiosity, not dread. When Amanda let go of her old presentation style, she didn’t just feel like she was failing. She was opening herself to new opportunities. And when Maya embraced digital photography, she didn’t just feel like she was losing something. She was evolving with the times.
Unlearning for Personal Growth
In a world that demands constant improvement, it’s easy to forget that sometimes, the best way to move forward is to leave the old behind. For women, this means shedding the weight of outdated beliefs, practices, and approaches to life and work. It’s about giving yourself permission to let go of what no longer serves you, and in doing so, giving yourself the freedom to grow.
So, when was the last time you took a step back and unlearned something? Maybe it’s time to break free from the old patterns and embrace something new. Unlearning isn’t easy—but it’s worth it. Because when you unlearn, you grow. You evolve. And in the end, that’s the most powerful skill you can have.