Hey there! Welcome to “Down to Find Out,” where Nona Willis Aronowitz tackles your burning questions about dating, relationships, and everything in between. Got a question for Nona? Shoot her an email at [email protected] or fill out this Google form—totally anonymous!
So, here’s the deal: You’re 24 and feeling a bit embarrassed about never having dated before. First off, don’t sweat it! It might seem a little unusual, but there’s no “normal” when it comes to dating. Some people dive into dating as soon as they hit puberty, while others, like those who identify as aromantic, might not feel the urge to date at all. Whatever your situation, it’s all good!
Now, if you’re ready to change things up and start dating, I get that the pandemic makes it tricky. Normally, I’d say go to every party, join new groups, and let your friends know you’re looking to date. But with COVID-19, those options are pretty limited. No crowded bars, and a lot of social activities have moved online or been put on hold. Plus, as the weather gets colder, outdoor hangouts are going to be less of a thing.
But here’s the silver lining: dating during the pandemic has actually led a lot of people to take things slower. Many singles using dating apps are being more thoughtful about who they connect with. For example, a recent survey found that 69% of Hinge users are really thinking about what they want in a partner. Conversations can last for weeks before meeting up, and video chats have become a chill way to get to know someone without the pressure of a traditional date. For you, being a newbie to dating, this slower pace could be a real advantage.
Before you jump into the dating apps, take a moment to think about what you want. “Dating” can mean a lot of things: Are you looking for your first romance? Want to explore without commitment? Just trying to get the hang of flirting? Figure out what you’re ready for and choose an app that fits. And don’t be shy about sharing your goals with your friends—they might be able to set you up with a virtual blind date or a fun online hangout.
If you get to the chatting stage and feel nervous about moving forward, just be honest! Let the other person know you’re new to this and feeling a bit scared but also excited. Some folks might not be into dating a total newbie, and that’s okay. Rejection can sting, but it’s better to be upfront than to hide your inexperience and freak out later. You want someone who’s cool with being patient as you figure things out.
Remember, dating is all about learning to handle rejection. It’s great to take it slow, but don’t put too much pressure on your first few experiences. Being a late bloomer might feel like a big deal, but you’ve got plenty of time to make mistakes and learn from them. At 24, you’re still young and have so much ahead of you. Dating can be fun and transformative, but it also comes with risks, so be ready to explore what works for you.
If things are going well and you want to meet up, consider a socially distanced walk outside. It might feel less awkward than sitting across from each other at a restaurant. And if you think things might get physical, have a chat about COVID testing, just like you would about safe sex. The pandemic might slow things down, but that can actually be a good thing for you.
Lastly, even though you haven’t dated yet, being 24 means you’ve got some life experience under your belt. You probably know yourself better now and are more comfortable setting boundaries. Use that to your advantage as you navigate this new dating world. Trust me, it’ll help a lot!
