While no catastrophic events were occurring, I found myself struggling to navigate my circumstances. I lacked clarity regarding my career aspirations, personal life, and future direction, resulting in a chaotic daily existence. I was unaware of how to cultivate a daily routine or maintain healthy habits. As I navigated a series of emotional upheavals, I inadvertently overlooked significant opportunities for personal transformation—though I was oblivious to this at the time.
Due in part to my inherent disposition, I had little success in finding tranquility or consistency in my life. The concept of establishing and adhering to routines was entirely foreign to me, and it did not occur to me that they could substantially enhance my mental well-being until the pandemic afforded me the time and space to recognize the necessity for change. Ultimately, the issue stemmed from my lack of rituals and routines.
Upon acknowledging my need for structure, I began to focus on the potential benefits of a routine, such as providing stability and a sense of safety and security. According to licensed therapist Sachiko Tate, LMSW, routines can significantly influence one’s emotional state, transforming feelings of frazzlement, frustration, and overwhelm into a sense of empowerment, confidence, and control over one’s life.
While each individual’s ideal routine may differ, my own resembled something akin to a TikTok “Get Ready With Me” or a “5 a.m. Club” tutorial—albeit with a more manageable start time of 9 a.m. and without the expectation of completing every task daily. I began by committing to early morning workouts, weekly meal preparation, increased dog walks, and maintaining a clean living space—all aimed at enhancing my energy levels, productivity, and mental health. Remarkably, these changes materialized swiftly once I dedicated myself to this new approach.
However, establishing consistent habits that promote well-being can be challenging. If it were not, you likely would not be reading this. To assist you in implementing effective routines, consider the following therapist-recommended strategies for creating healthy and sustainable habits.
- Prioritize Personal Fulfillment.
Committing to a routine solely for the purpose of social media sharing or impressing colleagues is a surefire way to cultivate resentment. If the primary focus of your daily routine is to please or impress others, you may find less satisfaction in its implementation. The essence of self-care is to prioritize your own well-being. Regardless of the routines you choose, ensure that they fulfill your personal needs. - Establish Achievable Intentions.
The cornerstone of creating a routine lies in identifying the goals you wish to pursue. Once these goals are clear, it becomes easier to determine the habits that will facilitate their achievement. Setting realistic goals is crucial; if you perceive the outcomes of your new habits as attainable, you are more likely to believe in your ability to succeed, thereby enhancing your motivation, as noted by psychotherapist Samantha Zhu, LMHC.
Additionally, consider adopting a relaxed timeline for achieving your goals. Allowing ample time to adjust to new habits can foster the development and maintenance of an effective routine, according to licensed psychologist David Tzall, PsyD. For instance, if your objective is to establish an online presence across multiple social media platforms to secure your ideal job, avoid the temptation to launch a comprehensive strategy within a month. Instead, concentrate on consistently posting on Instagram and gradually expand your content creation efforts from there.
- Define Emotional Goals.
While goal-setting often involves listing tangible achievements, such as “I aim to read the entire Dune series by summer’s end,” it is equally important to consider your emotional aspirations—specifically, the feelings you hope to cultivate through your routine, as emphasized by Tate. If your motivation to read stems from a sense of obligation, revisit your initial intentions. However, if your goal is to engage with the Dune series as a means of fostering tranquility before bedtime, keeping this emotional objective in mind can help you resist distractions, such as binge-watching Netflix. - Document Your Goals and Strategies.
Routines serve as a roadmap for achieving your objectives, but failing to document your goals and the corresponding routines may hinder your follow-through. Zhu recommends utilizing a simple checklist or employing creative visual tools, such as a calendar, bullet journal, or habit tracker, to monitor your progress. For those who, like myself, benefit from repetitive documentation, writing down even mundane tasks—such as washing your face or checking the mail—can be instrumental in maintaining consistency.
Additionally, maintaining a journal to reflect on your emotional and tangible goals can provide insight into your progress and any improvements you may observe.
- Optimize Your Free Time.
A practical approach to establishing consistent and effective routines without sacrificing leisure time is to integrate new habits into available slots in your schedule, as suggested by licensed psychologist Jaci Lopez Witmer, PsyD. If you wish to spend more time with a friend but find it challenging to go out on a Friday night, consider scheduling regular walks with them on Sunday evenings after grocery shopping. - Emphasize Consistency.
It may be surprising, but the specific tasks and timing associated with your new routine are less critical than the act of setting and adhering to your goals, according to Dr. Tzall. “Consistency is paramount.” Even if your rituals consist of simple actions, such as flossing your teeth before bed or drinking a glass of water at noon, consistently returning to these practices—despite occasional lapses—can foster a sense of accomplishment, elevate your mood, and enhance motivation. This perspective can alleviate the pressure to execute a complex routine flawlessly every day, as noted by Tate. - Seek Support from Your Community.
If you are embarking on a new routine or struggling to maintain consistency, consider enlisting the support of your community. Sharing your routine with others or inviting someone to join you can enhance accountability and motivation, as Dr. Tzall suggests. Just as you attend work due to external expectations, having someone remind you of your motivations for establishing a new routine can be profoundly beneficial. - Practice Self-Compassion.
Discipline should not equate to self-punishment for occasional setbacks. It involves showing up for yourself even when motivation wanes and your goals seem distant, according to Tate. Encouraging yourself on days when you feel less inclined to adhere to your routine can be a powerful tool for maintaining consistency. Reflecting on your commitment to self-care and employing compassionate discipline can help you stay on track. - Maintain Balance.
Initially, when I focused on enhancing my cooking routine, I often avoided dining out or socializing, which led to feelings of deprivation. This rigid approach hindered my ability to enjoy social interactions and contributed to negative feelings surrounding my routine. Striking a balance between structure and spontaneity is essential for mental well-being, as emphasized by licensed clinical social worker Julia López, PhD, MPH, LCSW. Even if you engage in regular exercise or meditation, it is crucial to allocate time for unstructured relaxation that is unrelated to your goals. - Embrace Alternative Rewards.
One effective motivator for adhering to a routine is rewarding yourself for your efforts. Personally, I enjoy treating myself to a favorite coffee or purchasing a new item after achieving specific goals. However, while external rewards can be beneficial, the most significant motivator often stems from progress toward your emotional and tangible objectives. Recognizing the positive changes in your life, whether it be increased calmness or enhanced structure, can be immensely gratifying. - Exercise Self-Compassion.
When you deviate from your routine or struggle to maintain discipline, it is essential to practice self-empathy. Zhu notes that many individuals equate failing to adhere to their routine with personal failure. If you view a missed day or week as a significant setback, you may be tempted to abandon your routine altogether. It is perfectly acceptable to take a break, whether intentional or not. If you believe that your routine positively impacts your life, the key is to recommit to it. - Be Open to Adjustments.
When I initially adopted an intense wellness routine, I felt energized and accomplished. However, as time progressed, I realized that maintaining such high expectations was unsustainable. I began to experience diminished energy and found it challenging to engage with friends and family. It became clear that I needed to adjust my approach and remember the feelings I sought to cultivate through my routine.
Dr. Tzall advises that if adhering to a routine becomes ineffective or overly stressful, it is important to grant yourself permission to explore alternative strategies. Allowing yourself the grace to evaluate your routine’s effectiveness is vital for your mental well-being. While the consistency of routines can be invigorating, making space for adjustments can prevent burnout.
