Taking some time to answer these questions might feel like a chore, but they can really help clear up the daily chaos around your goals and what you want to achieve.
- Why are you waiting for someone to give you the green light?
We often have great ideas that could make life easier, but we hold back because we think we need permission. We might want to ask for what we need or get some advice, but we still hesitate.
Try picturing someone giving you the go-ahead. For example:
- Your partner says, “Let’s hire a cleaner so we can actually enjoy our weekends.”
- Your doctor says, “Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.”
- A company’s website says, “If you can’t find what you need, just ask us!”
Visualize this in your mind as vividly as you can. If it feels doable, give yourself the thumbs up to go for it. Or think about how someone super confident would handle it.
- What are you feeling unsure about?
Sometimes we toss aside good ideas because we want to be 100% sure they’ll work. For instance:
- “I won’t try that new dish because I’m not sure I’ll like it.”
- “I don’t want to switch doctors because I’m not sure the new one will be better.”
- “I’m hesitant to hire a cleaner because I doubt they’ll do a good job or I won’t feel comfortable.”
But you’ll never build confidence if you keep second-guessing yourself. If something seems like a good option, give it a shot and see what happens.
If you’re not ready to dive in, tell yourself you’ll think about it for 24 hours and then act on the best idea that pops into your head.
- What do you need help with?
Finish this sentence: “The best version of me can do… without help, but the real me needs it.”
Maybe your ideal self can hit the gym solo, but the real you needs a trainer. Or perhaps your dream self can learn English without a tutor, but you need a couple of private lessons each week.
Think about how you can support the real you in getting what you want.
- Why do you need a success story or a role model?
When we’re unsure about how to tackle something, we often look for someone to look up to.
Imagine you’re 20 and want to buy an apartment, but you have no clue how to go about it and don’t know anyone your age who has done it. If you knew someone who had been through it, their story could inspire you, and you’d probably ask them for advice.
Once you figure out how a role model could help you, start looking for those people or different ways to approach your situation.
- How do you sabotage yourself?
Finish this sentence: “I messed up my life when…”
Pay attention to the first thought that pops into your head, then try to accept that what you’re fixating on isn’t necessarily true. If that situation hadn’t happened, what would you have done instead?
Work on shutting down those nagging thoughts that bring you down by reminding yourself they’re not facts. It’s not about whether your thoughts are true or false; it’s about noticing how your feelings and actions change when you stop treating those thoughts as reality.
